How do you know when you are truly committed to something?
No one can tell you otherwise when you make up your mind. No one.
When my husband and I decided to have a child, there was no going back.
Since I was in my 40's, there was a lot to consider regarding health and well-being. I wanted to have as stress-free of a pregnancy as possible. So when it came to other people, their comments, and two cents, I decided that I wasn't interested in anyone's opinions, especially if it wasn't supportive. I knew that I needed to pay attention to, take care of, and guard my personal space and energy in a way that I never had.
Here's why. People will always have their opinions and point of view on what someone else is doing. It doesn't mean they are correct, and it doesn't mean they're wrong. It's just their opinion and their perspective. Things tend to go sideways for many of us when we adopt those opinions and beliefs as truth, and we start to question ourselves.
I also wasn't going to put my already perimenopausal self in the position of adding ANY unnecessary stress to my life.
I wanted to envision the end goal of having a healthy baby.
So if you are on this journey yourself and you're feeling stressed or unsupported by those close to you, how can you keep it together?
Here are some of the tips I use with my clients and, of course, myself.
Focus on what you can control.
We can't control many things, but we can control what we expose ourselves to, who we spend our time with, and what we think.
Believe it or not, thoughts are choices.
If you know someone whose comments will trigger you, give yourself a break and minimize your interaction with that person.
Name your emotion/s.
We often walk around on auto-pilot and aren't aware of what we're feeling.
The act of finding and naming the emotion we're feeling is sometimes all it takes to disarm it.
Should you or shouldn't you?
Usually, when I'm feeling stressed, it's because I'm "shoulding" myself about something.
I should have woken up earlier.
I should have worked out this week, and it's Wednesday already!
I shouldn't have had those cookies last night.
The list goes on and on.
I have removed "shoulding" from my vocabulary, although I'm still working on removing it from my brain.
The reason is that the word "should" isn't helpful.
When you say I shouldn't have said or done XYZ, there is always a little or a lot of shame attached to it.
When you say, I should do something, does that motivate you to do it?
I didn't think so.
Decide.
Make the intention and decide how you want to feel.
You can reframe so much of your life by determining how you want your day to go ahead of time.
Maintaining this focus is essential as you embark on your journey to becoming a parent.
Let go of all of the unnecessary stuff and fill yourself up with all the beautiful things coming your way, like that beautiful child you've been so desperately dreaming of having.
If you want to learn more about what working with me is like, book your discovery call below.
