Do you think that how you feel is based on what happens to you?

What if I told you that is not true? Now before you get upset - hear me out.

The way you feel has nothing to do with what happens and everything to do with what you are making it mean.

Have you noticed how the same thing can be said to a group of people and each one of those people are going to make it mean something different?

An example of this could be, you’re at a family dinner and your Mom says, ‘the dress you’re wearing is a bit tight don’t you think’? Your relatives overhear and you are immediately embarrassed and a bit insulted. One of your sister’s comes over and says, ‘I can’t believe she just said that to you’ and your Aunt later approaches you and says, ‘she’s only letting you know because she cares dear’. Same circumstance, two different opinions. So, your Mom said words and you made those words mean… We think it’s not open to interpretation and we (usually) use past references to support our current thought.

The circumstance, or fact, is not what creates your feelings. It’s your thoughts about the circumstance, and what you making it mean, that creates your feelings.

We tend to believe that we are at the effect of life’s circumstances. I’m mad because my boss said … My husband said…. My mother said….. You think you have no other choice but to think and react the way you do. I feel this way because they said……

How can you reframe the things that happen in life so that you can live more calmly, peacefully, and happily? Life isn’t meant to be perfect. We are human beings living a human experience. What if all of it was good? What if the not so nice things that happen were nothing more than an opportunity to learn. A chance to discover something about yourself that you wouldn’t have otherwise. Where can you show yourself, and others, empathy instead of anger and resistance?

There is a better way. A way that keeps you in control and accountable.

Your thoughts are everything. They are what propel us to do, or not do, something. The reason being is, depending on the thought, will depend on the feeling.

We all tend to think that we know when someone says something to us, we receive it the way it was intended. How often have you caused yourself drama with this way of thinking? We can never fully know what someone is thinking, even if we like to think we do for various reasons.

Another example of this is, your friend calls and says that she hasn’t heard from you in a while. Now you can make this mean several things. Your reaction might be, aww she misses me, how sweet. Or, how dare she try to make me feel bad, I just spoke with her three days ago! We do this repeatedly in our everyday lives in a myriad of situations.

At the end of the day it is up to you to decide what you want to make other people’s sentences mean.

The process I teach my clients is very specific and can be applied to all areas of your life. Once you learn the process I teach, and implement it, you will see how the things that were once weighing you down, and keeping you stuck, or making you feel like the victim, are no longer an issue because you can look at them differently.